better late than never i guess...
so in my last post i mentioned i was totally willing to date within my decade (up to 40 since i'm 30 - date men between the ages of 30-40). so three weeks ago i had date #19, who is 37 years of age. he's cute and established (continental) in his pics, and we go to brunch. the second time i've gone to brunch on a first date. we know how i feel about this; i'm loving it. #19 in real life looks far older than his pics, and the bags under his eyes are enough to take my entire wardrobe on a trip around the world. mean, sorry but true. he was nice though. no spark. after deciding halfway through brunch that i'm not feeling a spark, we are smoking a cigarette afterwards (side note - #2 and #9 aka "the ass-grabber" were the only two smokers i've been on a date with) and #19 reveals that for the first few years that he lived here after moving, he did not own a bed. in fact, he kept it "minimal" after his divorce and had an air mattress and a chair in his apartment. only recently did he treat himself to his first, very own bed in a bag. he explained that it was liberating to have so few material possessions beyond his clothes and vehicle.
i wish you could see my face right now. not then, because i hid my emotions pretty well. i mean i don't know what his situation was after his divorce; maybe his ex-wife cleaned him out of house and furniture and that's why he was so minimalist (and not in a good way). or maybe it seemed "bohemian" and that's why he told me. it wasn't "bohemian" or impressive to me; all i could think was "loser." again, mean, but i'm keeping it real.
which leads me to my next point - while i'm glad these men feel so comfortable around me that they are compelled to tell me these types of things, it makes me weary. maybe it's the fact that i have somewhat of a hard time trusting men that are more than just platonic to me, but it's almost desperate in my opinion. why, oh why #19, would you tell me such a thing? i mean i'm all about laying my cards out on the table, but it's not like i'm going to tell a guy i drop clothes bombs on yr moms (had to get an ice cube reference in - i'm referring to my often-times messy room, which consists solely of clothes everywhere in that "i don't know what the hell i'm wearing" morning frenzy...don't worry it's clean now) or that i'm in therapy because i want to work on bettering myself - all in due time. it does make me wonder whether people actually believe on working towards trust in a loving relationship, or if they're under the impression that relationships materialize out of thin air.
so, in light of this, i realize i do need to expand my dating horizons beyond the throes of online dating, or at least the site i'm on...i'm on a free one, but i'm considering if i should go frou-frou with my online dating and go to a paid site. i hear it's still all the same people. i have a friend who constantly tells me i need to go the matchmaking route (did i mention i so wanted to be on vh1's tough love? and sent in my application? but i guess my soul-searching was too bland for tv). maybe speed dating is next...to my single ladies, gear up! i fully expect you to join me.
