#16 is a nice guy, he really is. #16 was from my last post (the one who literally moved here weeks ago from OH). we went out for one drink so he could go home and write code. yes code. again way smarter than me (at least when it comes to that). and true to his pics, he's built like a brick shithouse. so we go to a bar, and we get our one drink, and as we're wandering around (he's never been there before), he doesn't want to sit off in a corner and kind of wants to be in the action but at a place we can still hear each other and talk. fair enough. but with music blasting from a speaker in my ear and the tons of chatter around, it's difficult to hear. especially since although we are sitting, he is literally a foot taller than me (more than that, he's 6'3") with a low, deep voice.
so one drink, okay convo until we start talking about music. this gets him excited about how much i have (vinyl, external hard drive, multiple genres) and he suggests the next time we hang out he comes over to my house and we go through it all. so as you know (or don't) i live with my momsies and my uncle is getting ready to move in (my bro moved out in july). me, uncle and momsies. i tell him that is cool and he could even meet my mom (please note although i used a sarcastic tone, i was being totally serious. i mean you come to my house, i live with my mom, it's totally going to happen). idk if it was the way i worded it but he was like "oh that's too soon." yeah you think? first off ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you, you only meet my family if you are in like flynn (too many austin power references today) and there are/were very few romantic interests of mine that make it to that. i mean come on, am i really going to let you meet my momsies? hell no unless you are at least my "don't call him my boyfriend boyfriend," or as liz would say "wtf (insert guy's name here)."
so i'm 30 and live with my mom. i'm also 1/2 puerto rican and that's how we operate on a cultural level. common american societal pressures dictate this whole independence thing and say when we're 30, we should have it all together right? i mean i totally freaked out about "i'm 30, single, living with my family" etc. so what did i do? i consolidated my debts and bought life insurance. that's responsible yes, but why do i care? while my mom drives me crazy sometimes (and trust me, i know that's reciprocated), it's okay i live with her. it's okay i'm still single. there's nothing REALLY telling me these things, so why am i buying into it? no more letting societal pressures dictate this life of mine, nope.
so i found it profoundly interesting that this man made that comment. it sucks writing this sometimes, there's no inflection. but if you could have heard him say that "oh it's too soon" comment, you would've heard the condescending, judgmental tone that translated to "oh you live with yr mom." epic fail on his part - if a man can't handle the fact that i am close enough with my mom to live with her - then that's a deal breaker. if a man can handle that, i'll think about letting him meet momsies when we hit the "wtf (insert guy's name here)" stage.
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