30s - the middle child of ages

so having recently turned 30 and freaking out tremendously about it (as my last post was only the tip of the iceberg), i thought why not? let's clear the air.

i look at my 30s as the middle child of ages - yr not youthful anymore (goodbye 20s and irresponsibility), but yr not quite old (hello 40s, "established," "seasonal," "continental" as one friend put it). and it's definitely an interesting decade to be single.

granted i've only been 30 for less than a month, but looking around it's crazy. the majority of my friends are either married, engaged, in a relationship, have children or a combination of the aforementioned. i can literally count the amount of single grrlfriends i have on both hands (in their 30s-40s). i also have plenty of friends who are legally separated or divorced, with or without kids. so our experiences, although different, are sometimes similar in their own right.

sometimes it's hard being in my current situation: i'm 30, single, living with my momsies (and soon to be uncle). that can put a damper on things since i don't want a potential mate to meet my family until i know he's committed. while i was completely insecure about it before, i realize it's who i am now: i'm a 30-something dutchorican living with momsies. and that's totally okay! accept it or as jay-z would say, "on to the next one."

but it's hard at the same time to look around at everyone else and say that i feel okay with where i'm at. because let's face it: what fun is life if you don't have that one person to share it with? what fun is going through the crazy roller coaster that can be our experiences if there isn't that one person yr emotionally intimate with? i'm not talking about yr best friend, sibling or family member. but i guess dating is like the lottery - you gotta play to win.

what i'm finding though is the men i've come into contact with over the years either want to be my friend or just get physical. or the ones that do want a relationship want it to materialize out of thin air. what's up with that? what kind of vibe am i sending out? or is it that they can't handle this? or they don't want to work for it? i'm still marinating on that one.

so being 30, i'm implementing a new rule for dating that someone told me they used when they were still single (now happily married for quite some time with kids), and i really liked it - date within yr decade. so i'm expanding my horizons to include older men (up to 40). let's see how many i can find that are completely single, no kids, never been married. because what i'm finding as i get older is that is so hard to come by.

i was out with one of my older grrlfriends the other night(a total cougar in her own right - grown kids, single, smokin' bod, i wish i look as good as her when i grow up!), and i struck up a conversation with a guy who's 38, single with children, and very attractive. when asked, i told him i had never been married or had any kids. you know what this one told me? that i was "a rarity." really? i guess i never knew.