how about an update. and some alternative blog shoutouts.

so it's been a hot minute. it happens. so here we go!

i had first date #15 approximately a month and a half ago...brunch. what a fabulous first date idea. not quite breakfast, not quite lunch, and i will say brunch is my favorite meal ever. we met at mattie's diner at the nc music factory, which has a cool back story. i won't go into details, but let's just say it's an authentic, fully restored 1950s diner from the 50s. from the cherry pie in the glass display cases to the mini-jukeboxes in each booth, it's fabulous. listen to me, now i'm starting to sound like Liz. here's my shoutout to Liz and her fab foodie blog eagergourmand.blogspot.com.

back to #15. when he initially emailed me the first email was titled, "hey, how about a date" fabulous. i was impressed. not like the typical "hi, how are you" subject lines or "wanna chat" crap women typically get on these freebie online dating sites. so we exchanged a few emails, i gave him my Google Voice number and we decided to meet. on a side note, if you don't have a Google Voice number ladies, get one. it's so rad. forwards to your phone, free domestic calls/txts/etc, you can mark numbers as "spam" and so much more.

but i digress. so we meet. and there were two things physically that i was not digging. first off, he said on his profile he was 5'9", which is my minimum height requirement. hey, if i decide at some point i do want children, i should give them a fighting chance at being taller than me! now i'm 5'1", and anyone who's taller than me is tall, right? well i can tell when yr lying, and this guy was 5'6". hmmm. not that i was going to write him off for lying, hey if i could get away with it, i might think about doing the same thing. then again, i don't wear heels all the time. so that was one thing. the other thing you will either think i'm a heinous bitch or freaking hilarious, but people you can't make this stuff up. so looking at him straight on, his ears were fine and normal. but profile, wow. like a freaking elf. i am so not kidding. do a google image search of "elf ears" and you'll get the idea. i'm so not exaggerating this. bless his heart.

so aside from the physical stuff, we're having a nice time. as you know i'm working on giving men a fair shot, so i'm giving the guy a chance. during the course of our conversation, he asks what i'm looking for; i tell him what everyone else is looking for but doesn't want to say: a good start. he replies he's looking for a friend first because while he's not married, he's not divorced either. he's been legally separated for 6 months and is in the process of obtaining custody for his biological child and his two stepchildren. yes, you read that right.

now i'm open to dating someone with kids (my past dating experiences are screaming "no! don't do it!") but don't really prefer it. i would like it if a potential mate is divorced and has allowed the ink on his papers to dry, but legally separated is a deal breaker for me. so needless to say when he mentions it's necessary to be friends first, i reply (forgive me, i'm paraphrasing), "well under your circumstances OF COURSE we would have to be friends first. but i'm not looking for a friend (insert #15's name here)." so that was that.

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after this date, i updated my profile even more to reflect more of my personality and what i'm looking for versus "have a job, a car and a clean criminal record." if you would like to see my profile and what i've written, let me know and i'll send you a link.

so #9 emailed me on the dating site! it was glorious. since i changed my picture and got descriptive, he wrote me complimenting my picture and asked, "why did we stop talking again?" so Carmen (shoutout to Carmen and her journey to weight loss blog goodbyegorda.com) tells me, just be honest. and boy was i. again epic for me. so i wrote him back the following:

(insert #9's name here),

i had fun with you, but honestly i felt more of a friend vibe than a dating vibe. plus the ass-grabbing thing made me uncomfortable; no hard feelings though. good luck on yr search!

cheers,

Vivian

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so between then and now i haven't been on any first dates. i have recently however started talking to two new guys. maybe first dates soon to come? i will say (and you will all be so proud of me) is i'm being honest to these guys about my dating experience online when they ask. let's examine...

so the first guy seems cool; nc native, rocker type, does commercial installations and used to be on a NASCAR pit crew. jackstacks would be so proud. very attractive in his pictures, and he's cool on the phone, but we haven't met yet. so the other night we're talking and he asked me what my experiences have been on the dating site. so i level set with him: i've been on 15 first dates, one turned into a second date, and nothing else has come out of it. i told him about the #9 fiasco and promised him i would not refer to him as a number...i'll keep you posted on that.

the other guy literally moved here just weeks ago from OH for work. no friends here, no family, just work. and he's 6'3" and looks like he played a lot of football. i digress. funny on the phone, real down to earth, mostly looking for someone to kind of show him the city and hang and have a good start.

on we go!

since i'm doing these shoutouts, how about shoutout to my ladies at JuneBug Talk! junebugtalking.blogspot.com. and last but not least, shoutout to Beth and her rad blog My Believable Life. bethosbornemba.com/wordpress/

oh and one last thing: whenever a guy has asked me why i'm still single, i am telling him that it's because i have a fear of commitment and i didn't give guys a fair shot. PS - they really want to know...i think.